Bright lights shining upwards obscures the stars...

            curvy girl warning

be   gentle   with   me,   please
i deal with enough in the medical world
they chew me up and spit me out
too fat for real medicine
too big to be seen as 	   real
too much for even the mri to see within
so          who knows, really, what it is
just that i know something is really wrong
that i hurt like i haven't before
that i deal with pain on a daily basis
        and this New Pain Makes Me Want To Cry
but i didn't fit 
and they didn't call back
so now i have to play chase 
        like girls and boys in the school yard
        like men and women in bars
        like all the things i hate
but i'm simply a fat girl now
        too big to have real concerns
cuz they'll say
         "if you just lose some weight"
         or 
       	"exercise more"
as if 	the panacea of thinness 
         is enough
as if 	starving myself into disappearing
         is enough
as if 	taking a shot or a pill
         is enough
to stop a lifetime 
         of injuries and hurt
         a societal epoch
           of women being
         (invisible)
         for 
   	     (e)quality
 medicine
          weight 
is merely	    the newest 	            lie